The Polls Have Closed

Well, I'd like to thank everyone who voted. Even if everyone had to vote for the passed out Santa wearing a bra and a hat (which was in the wrong place). On the plus side I only lost a dollar to myself. If I wanted to go dirty during the campaign I would have done a few pictures like these

But I opted to run a clean campaign. The only thing that disturbed me during the whole deal was I tracked where the votes came from, and all of Penny's votes came from Mom. Is this something we should be concerned about?

I Have Been Challenged

So I have been challenged by Penny and I thought the best way to settle who has the best Santa picture was to put a poll up. So please vote, and if you vote for me I promise change and hope. I hope to be able to offer change, and by changing we can have hope. Only through hope will we have change. We cannot hope for change but change for hope. May the hope be with you.

P.S. if you vote for me I'll give you a dollar.

Another Merry Christmas

I hope everyone is having a good Christmas. I know our girls are doing well. I must admit I miss the days of my youth where the toys put themselves together. I, oops I mean Santa, was up till almost 2am putting together dollhouses and princess kitchens. What can I say, I believe in stereotypes. At any rate, the dollhouse was freakin huge and came with about 800 parts. Not to mention the instructions were incomplete, not that I would have used them anyway. But everything worked out really well and the girls are happy. We are still debating if we are going to go see Marley and Me. We may just take it easy and not do anything. I have added a few pictures to our photobucket site, so enjoy and Merry Christmas.

http://s24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/souspartacus/

Merry Christmas!!

Just in case someone is bored enough to check my blog out on Christmas Eve, I thought I could do my duty and make Santa's location known to everyone. Just follow the link.

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/home.html

Oh yeah, and since Mom didn't like the Snowman Massacre, I thought a good ol picture of St. Nick should be better!

The Naughty/Nice Christmas Songs

As I drive I enjoy listening to Christmas music on my satellite radio. Doing so I have discovered a couple of things. First, we (meaning the population of the world, except Denmark, they don't count) really need some new Christmas songs. Honestly, how many different versions of Winter Wonderland are their? Second, some singers should never have attempted to sing Christmas songs. So below are some singers that I think should have never attempted to sing Christmas songs and some artists I think do a pretty good job.

The Naughty List:

1. Elvis
2. Harry Belafonte (and I am not joking about this, his version of the 12 days of x-mas is horrible)
3. Ray Charles
4. Perry Como
5. Anybody who has ever appeared on Lawarence Welk
6. Natalie Cole

I'm sure more will come

The Nice List:

1. Bing Crosby
2. Harry Connick Jr.
3. Dean Martin
4. Barenaked Ladies (Ironic I know)
5. Sarah Mclachlan
6. Nat King Cole
7. The Boston Pops

If you have any suggestions please let me know

My New Workout

I have heard and had always been interested in a thing called "Crossfit." (http://www.crossfit.com/) Well, I had found a crossfit gym here in Valdosta and thought that it would be a great way to get myself in better shape. Let me first explain a little more about crossfit. Crossfit is a high intensity workout focused on using exercises that can benefit you in normal activities. For example, one may be able to bench a massive amount of weight but being able to bench press does not translate well when working on a project in the yard.

I started doing the actual workouts this last Monday and the only thing I can say is Holy Crap. The warm-up is harder then most peoples workout. The warmup's vary but usually include a half-mile run, 40 push-ups, 40 sit-ups, 15 pull-ups, 30 walking lunges (per leg), 15 hand stand push-ups, 20 ball squats and 40 back extensions.

After the warm up the real workout begins. The workout in the picture involved 5 exercises. You do as many reps as you can at each workout for 1 minute. The exercise I was doing is a sumo deadlift with a high pull (start with a wide stance deadlift and lift the bar to your chin), after one minute you immediately go to the next station which was a box jump, the next station was an overhead press, then you row for a minute, the last station are called wall balls (squat holding a 20 pound medicine ball and on the way up throw the ball to the middle dot on the wall, when you catch the ball return to the squat position). We did three sets of this with one minute rest in between sets.

Needless to say, I am grateful for my down day today. Another great thing about crossfit is each workout is always different. I was talking to somebody else who has been doing crossfit since September and has not done the same workout twice. Another guy I met is a combat rescue officer (AF Pararescue, our elite special forces), he told me that he is stronger from doing crossfit then when he was going through his training.

This is a long post and this will not be the last time you hear about. I am really excited to find a non frilly gym that gives you a great workout.

Blog? What Blog?

Are you sure I have a blog? Because I haven't updated it for awhile. What is the point of blogging if one never writes anything. At any rate, I only have a minute and will try to update everyone to the best of my ability. So here goes,

I am still in the Air Force (for now), hoping to start the proces of joing the Marines next month.

Katie is still YW President and doing a great job of working with the kids.

The kids are still themselves and have discovered the excitement of throwing things out the window.

The biggest thing so far has been my new workout. I started doing a "Crossfit" (check www.crossfit.com) routine and I think I want to die. This is by far the most intense workout I have ever done. I have to go right now to work out as a matter of fact, but either later today or tomorrow I wil post more about this workout program.

Time for an Update

Where do I begin. This last week has been crazy with our girls being on a wave of destruction. Through a series of scientific experiments the girls have confirmed many theories. First, that water poured into a Sony home theater receiver will destroy the receiver. Second, that a Red Tail Shark can indeed survive a cup of milk being poured into the fish tank. And lastly, climbing up a guitar will cause the guitar to break. Being the good parent I am, we are starting a non-profit, not for tax deduction foundation to help offset the experiments of Thing one and Thing two. Donations are welcome and can be made out to Jake.

How About an Update

First let me say, I am still waiting to see pictures of Penny's gallbladder. Moving on, I am glad to report that Bethany has not cut her again. That is always good. However, she is still figuring out the proper amount of toilet paper to use. When she uses to much and clogs the toilet she'll come up to us with this panicked look on her face. At least she comes and tells us rather then keep flushing. Heidi has been funny just being herself. Heidi is such a happy-go-lucky kid, I can't imagine where she gets that from.

Katie has had her hands full stopping fights with Young Women's, and I do mean that literally. Without going into to much detail, rule of thumb for our branch is always have a witness around during mutual.

I have just been busy with school and looking for jobs. As it sits right now I have a little more then 5 months till I can start my terminal leave. I am currently applying for federal jobs and will try for that first. If that doesn't work out I will then see about commissioning.

Two Important Lessons Learned

Thanks to Heidi I have learned an important lesson, that lesson is to never eat a cracker that was in the vicinity of Heidi. I had given her one of those lunch snack cheese and cracker packs (the kind that comes with the plastic stick to spread the cheese onto the cracker)

for a snack. I go into the office and come out and see that the girls had not finished eating all the crackers and some cheese was still left. So I grabbed a cracker and realized the girls had just put the cheese on the cracker and sucked of the cheese leaving nothing but the cracker. Soggy crackers are gross, just FYI.

For the next lesson we learned to always make sure we know where scissors are. The pictures pretty much explain everything. Bethany+scissors= a dad in serious trouble.

Two Days in a Row!

Hey take a look at this, two posts in two days! Man I'm good. Of course I don't have anything interesting to say. Uhhhhhh, I was up till 4:30 this morning working on a paper that was due. If I didn't want to graduate so bad I probably would have just turned it in late. Since I don't have anything else to say I'll tell you a joke, which some of you may have heard already.

A man goes to the Doctor and the Doc says to the man "I've got some bad news and I've got some bad news. I'm afraid you have alzheimers and you also have cancer."
The man replies "Whew! At least I don't have cancer!"

Blog? What Blog?

So after being gently chastised by one of my sisters for not updating my blog I felt a little guilty. So here I go, I will do my best update everyone on the happenings for the last couple of months.

It really got crazy around the middle of August when Katie's parents came to visit. That was a nice visit that was supposed to culminate with a trip to Disney World, but due to hurricane Fay we had to cancel that trip.

However, the following weekend (being Labor Day weekend) we made our trip to the Happiest Place on Earth. Kitty was able to come along for the trip and I have to say that we had a great time. The kids got really worn out, especially when we went to the Magic Kingdom. We were there when the park opened, left for a couple hours to let the kids rest, and stayed there till 2:45 in the morning. The girls did surprisingly good. Heidi the next day however sort of freaked out at MGM in the morning. Other highlights of the trip include Bethany driving the car on the "Autotopia" ride and Kitty going berserk over the Teacups. Like I said, we just had a blast the entire trip and coming home was somewhat of a downer, cause reality doesn't treat you like they do at the Magic Kingdom. And just to throw a plug in for www.daveramsey.com , we were able to pay for the entire trip cash. That is also why I think we had such a good time, since we are not having to pay it off over the next year. I am currently uploading a lot of pictures to the photobucket site, just search for "souspartacus".

After Disney, I found out that I had to go to a two week course in Texas. The course is so that I can increase my "skill level" at work. But since I am getting out in just a few months it was a complete was of time and money. But hey, it was the Air Force's money. The trip was rather uneventful. I did stop by the old house and went past the Galleria on my way home. After I left Pelham, I realized that Alabama still hates me. About 40 minutes outside of Birmingham I blew out a tire in the middle of the night. To make matters worse when I had the tires rotated before my trip Sears over torqued the tires so I couldn't get it off. To make a long story short, I ended up paying a guy $75 to change a friggin tire, had to spend the night in redneckville while trying to locate a replacement tire.

So now things are starting to calm down, I am leaving for D.C. this week to run in a ten-miler, which will suck since I haven't ran in awhile. But hey, I get free leave from work.

For my post Air Force career I have added to my current plan. Right now I am still planning on pursuing the Marine Corp, however I have some other plans as well. In case the Marines don't work out I am currently applying for some civilian-federal jobs as well. So whoever comes back as the highest bidder wins. Some jobs I am interested are the Secret Service and a few accounting jobs. I will keep everyone updated as time progresses.

I apologize for not updating my blog and hopefully I get better from here on out.

Thankfully Nothing Exciting to Write About

I am rather relieved that this last week did not result in any visits to the Emergency Room due to a popcorn kernel up a nose or no more cars dieing on me. So really the highlight has been working on the Slieziel and putting parts on Ebay. That is one thing I am good at, taking stuff apart and not putting it back together. Who would've thunk my childhood compulsion to take crap apart is now going to make me some money off Ebay. Yaaaaaay Capitalism!

My Kids Are Special

All I have to say is "Yes, that is Heidi watching the Price is Right with her underwear on the outside of her pants."

Blog? What blog?

I admit, I've been kindof bad about keeping up to date on my blog. I will do my best to remember everything that has been going on lately. I make no guarantee that everything will be in chronological order. First, here is my excuse for not writing in the blog more frequently. Normally when I update the blog I am sitting in our nice comfy lazy-boy with the laptop. I can watch TV and be around the kids. I find that to be rather relaxing. At any rate, a couple of months ago the laptop was dropped off the couch and the power cord broke. Since I was being cheap I bought the cheapest knock off I could. That sucker died about two weeks ago so I decided to bite the bullet and order the real deal from Toshiba (about $100 bucks). We had the power cord for about two days when the laptop fell again and broke the cord...again. Now I am in the process of shipping the bad one back and getting another one.

Also, as you have no doubtingly seen the pictures, Bethany decided to take a chunk of her hair off. While I was distracted in the bathroom brushing my teeth, plucking my uni-brow and flexing Bethany grabbed my neck trimmer and tried combing her hair with it. I will say this much, it did get the snags out (yuk yuk yuk). In an attempt to make it not so bad Katie gave her a bit of a haircut to ease the pain.

Oh yeah, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that my little beater finally bit the dust. I really do like that car and I hate to see her go. But to be positive, I will be taking apart the car and putting the parts up on Ebay, I am quite certain that I can make more off the parts then what I actually paid for the car. The funds raised from Ebay are going to go to a charitable foundation. The foundation is "Help Jake Buy Another Car Foundation." If you wish to make a donation send funds via paypal to jacobandkatie@gmail.com Offer void in Nevada, Kentucky and Delaware.

Other then that, Katie is nervous with her new calling as Young Women's President. When I told her that Mom had been Young Women's President when I was a teenager she started asking me all sorts of questions. I quickly replied that I used it more as a dating service, and cannot really be much help. Katie has the Branch President spooked already. For her counselors she told him that for one she would like one particular sister who is also a "seasoned citizen." The seasoned citizen is one of the nice, cool sisters that Katie just loves. I guess we'll see what happens.

I think that is enough for now, I will do better about updating my blog so feel free to start checking back. After all, it won't be long before I am nationally syndicated then I will be forced to write a lot more.

$83 for a Popcorn Kernal

Could you have read that right? Did I actually spend $83 for ONE popcorn kernel? Well as a matter fact I did spend $83 for a popcorn kernel today. Thankfully this is a rather easy story to tell. On Sunday Heidi shoved a popcorn kernel up her nose, Monday an ER doc spent a whole 30 seconds looking for it (not an exaggeration) and quickly stated that it would come out eventually. So today we took Bethany to see an Ear Nose Throat guy (everything checked out fine) and at the end of the appointment I asked the Doc about the kernel up the nose and thought it best to get the kernel out. Well, it took myself a nurse and another Doc to hold her still while the kernel was extracted. Too bad I didn't have a camera cause you should have seen the size of this sucker. The kernel had expanded and split and to be frank, I am surprised it wasn't sprouting yet. Since we were there for Bethany and Heidi didn't have a referral we had to pay for the popcorn out of pocket. There goes $83 that Orville will never see.....(or smell?)

Another Exciting Sunday

Every time we can make it through an entire Sacrament Meeting without taking the kids out is a good Sunday. Usually the kids are good through the Sacrament but at the end of the Sacrament the kids are done. I never thought I would have to fight with a three year old so much. Bethany just refuses to stay still meanwhile Heidi is just plain nuts. When the chapel is quiet all you can hear is Heidi laughing at something. All in all it was a good Sunday with none of the girls taking a handful of bread from the tray. If only all our Sundays were as good.

Good Idea....Bad Idea

In all our lives we have played the game of "Good Idea..Bad Idea." For instance, while still at Pope I played the game when I was changing the oil in my car. However, my oil pan still had oil so I thought if I used a milk jug and a funnel that might work. Changing oil...good idea. Using a funnel and milk jug....bad idea. Thankfully I did not have to pay for the stained garage floor.

Today we had another experience with good idea..bad idea. Taking my girls to the doctor....good idea. Taking both girls at the same time....bad idea. Talk about feeding off each other. When the nurse was taking Bethany's vitals Heidi started freaking out. Naturally Bethany started freaking out. Bethany was kind enough to return the favor to Heidi. However, I will say the actual Doc was pretty good. He is an older guy, kind of a Dick Van Dyke type, who has been doing this awhile. Heidi still freaked a little but Bethany was just fine. So after ending the two hour visit with each girl getting some shots the girls were ready to get home. Once home they just crashed and I think they felt like they just received a pardon.

The Next Generation

First off I'd like to apologize for not being as diligent with updating my blog. Between working full-time, going to school full-time and trying to workout everyday I just don't know where the time goes (granted I have a dedicated hour per day to watch The Price is Right).

At any rate, over the last few weeks Bethany had been getting into the old Nintendo and always making a mess. Finally, last Sunday I hooked up the Nintendo and gave Bethany the controls to play the game "Duck Hunt." Needless to say I have created a monster. What's funny is she is not that bad. I have seen her make it all the way to round 4 all by herself. Now if I could only teach her to play Halo. (Kitty could have someone to compete with!)

Hold the Cheese

This has been a really nice and relaxing Father Day's. The most exciting thing that happened was when Bethany wanted to help finish getting our lunch/dinner ready. She grabbed the Romano cheese and made the apple pie look much prettier. I thought it was pretty funny. I just can't get mad at the girls when I know they are just trying to help. Putting clothes in the toilet is a whole different matter.

Any Advice?

So today I had a new and exciting experience as a parent. This afternoon as we were getting ready to leave I had given the girls some of those small, red decorative cinnamon candies. Well the phone was ringing and as I was trying to answer the phone Bethany was freaking out, and not just her normal freakin. I quickly hang up the phone and after a quick Sherlock Holmes I asked Bethany if she put the candy up her nose. She responded through tears by nodding her head up and down. Unable to see the candy I calmly proceeded to get the girls in the car to head down to the hospital to get the candy sucked out of her nose. Needless to say, while in the process I attempted to call tricare to see if I needed authorization, because knowing my luck I'd get stuck with a stupid bill because I didn't call. The ever so helpful tricare is nowhere to be found on a Saturday and as I was silently grumbling Bethany comes up to me happy as could be. I asked her if the candy came out and she nodded again, and just to prove it she opened her mouth and showed me the candy that she was eating. That was gross. I guess she managed to suck it up through her nose, perhaps we have a new "Stupid Human Trick."

Is it Friday Yet?

I am always looking forward to the weekend. I will show up Monday at work already thinking about what we will be doing on the weekend. I believe the wisdom of a wise man sums up my feelings

"All I ever wanted was an honest weeks pay for an honest days work."

Ernest Bilko

At any rate, not much has happened since my last blog entry. In the picture above we had just finished having some friends over for brunch and I totally passed out on the couch. Bethany was sweet and went in her room and grabbed the blanket. Then she crawled up and cuddled with me. She is such a doll. Heidi is my little comedy relief. She does this thing where she'll run through the house with her arms in front of her. We tell her to do the "Frankenstein" and she does it. Her running around gets pretty funny.

Just as I mentioned in my last blog I am now down to less then a year in the Air Force. That realization struck a chord and I have been eagerly looking for a job. The prospect of getting out and having a better career prospect is really exciting. The only problem is that since I know I will be getting out my "Give-o-Crap" meter at work is running on empty. Oh well, good thing I don't give a crap.

T-minus 364 Days

After years of waiting and be patient (sometimes) I am finally down to less then one year in the Air Force. Granted I will start my terminal leave earlier but my actual date of separation is now less then a year. In honor of the one year remaining I burned a t-shirt purchased from basic training. I am not sure if it was symbolic, ironic or due to the large amount of rubbing alcohol poured on the shirt but that thing went up faster then a pizza at a weight watchers convention. I had planned on taking more pictures but could only get a few before the shirt disappeared.

With the destruction of the shirt I started realizing that the time is here to start looking for jobs. I ended up calling a few law enforcement agencies and will probably start filling out applications here shortly. I am all about having plenty of options. I guess we'll see what happens.

Twas a Good Day

I learned a few good lessons today. First lesson involved the intricacies of a riding mower. Having always used my two legs to push a mower there was a bit of a learning curve involved. I learned that the higher gears can make the mower go much faster then my two legs. Even with the riding mower I was out there for a couple of hours, I can only imagine if I had tried using the push mower. Another lesson I learned is that the girls love the mower when it is off but are terrified of the mower when it is running. These are the same knuckle heads that will kick a fire ant hill while wearing sandals.

Another lesson was learned today about my gun. I was able to break in my .45 Desert Eagle (Baby Eagle as it is commonly referred to) today. I was worried about the recoil being to strong but those Isrealies sure got it right when designing the Baby Eagle. After the first 20 rounds the B.E. became smoother and is really pleasent to fire and not to mention fairly accuarate. I can credit the weapon with being accuarate and not myself since I was hopped on an energy drink. Needless to say, both Katie and I had a good time squeezing off a few rounds today.

Oh, and before I forget, who doesn't love Pee-Wee? (C'mon Pen, you can do better then that) :)

Another Boyhood Dream Realized

Within the last week I have seen two childhood dreams come to fruition. First I purchased a handgun. Even though I haven't had a chance to go shooting yet I am really happy with the fact I have a gun. And now today another dream has come true. Katie located a guy selling a riding mower on Craigslist for a pretty good price. We managed to get $200 bucks knocked off the price so this morning we drove to Tallahassee and picked the mower up. I must say for the price and condition of the mower we got a pretty good deal. I am just excited about not having to use a push mower to mow an acre. I thought that it was going to be fun mowing the lawn with Bethany or Heidi on my lap but shortly after getting home, when test driving, I learned Bethany is deathly afraid of the mower when it is running. I suppose that is a good thing. Of course, I'd be remiss not to mention our journey home from Tallahassee. About 40 miles out on a small winding road I hear a weird noise coming from the seat behind me, almost like a sippy cup spilling. However, the sippy cup was intact and in fact the noise was Bethany puking. We stop on the side of the road in front of somebody's house and got Bethany all fixed. I could not help but think that Karma sucks.

Back to Work

And I use the term work rather liberally. If Katie reads this (my Katie) she may not understand what I mean when I say work since I usually refer to work with terms such as "Hell", "Inferno" and "Hell-Hole" just to name a few. Can I just say that I am excited about being ten months away from starting my terminal leave. My goal for the next ten months is to not get into any trouble that may cause me to get demoted or lose my security clearance. Shouldn't be a problem since I don't even speed. Over the next ten months I am planning on working towards going Active Army as an Officer. However, I am not naive to the fact that there are other jobs out there. I may talk to the FBI or some other law enforcement agency with three letters. Being able to carry a gun everywhere is also appealing.

Finally Home...and Supporting the 2nd Amendment

So after a long month in Vegas I finally returned home. Thanks to the excellent planning of the Air Force we finished working last Thursday at 8am. Then, we turned in our rental vehicles at 11am only to get on the plane at 7pm. Thank goodness we had 8 hours before leaving, I don't know how the other guys could have gotten drunk if they did not have that much time. But I digress, I got home at 3am and needless to say I was pretty tired. The girls were really sweet. Heidi I don't think knew I had left whereas Bethany was giving me hugs and kisses all the time.

Even though I had not gotten in until 3am I was still up early enough to head to the gun shop and pick up our newest baby. A new .45 Baby Eagle. I will not go into to much detail but I have attached a photo of our gun. I have not been able to shoot her yet but hopefully this weekend I will be able to break her in.

So Much for a Journal

So almost a month ago I thought that this blog was going to work as a journal entry while in Las Vegas. My plan didn't work for a couple of reasons. First, my Internet connection is absolutely lousy. Just to get on the Internet I have to sit in the door way of the room to pick up the wireless signal. Second, nothing has been going on to talk about. For the first two weeks we were on 12 hour shifts. I guess I should say that I was on a 12 hour shift and that my boss worked whenever he felt like it. In addition to being at work forever, there was nothing to do. I sat in the vehicle for hours on end. Thankfully I have my PSP and that helped pass the time.

Other then that watching the planes take off can be cool, except that the F-15's, 16's and 18's are so cotton pickin loud. The ground just vibrates every time they take off. The other night I was at the "End of Runway" (where the planes park and get armed right before take off) and got stuck behind some 15's and 18's. You need to stay at least 200 feet away from the back of the jet engines for a reason. I was in a truck and about a 100 feet away. I am quite surprised the back of my neck wasn't burned. That was my exciting time.

In Case You are Wondering, 12 Hour Shifts Suck

Here we are in Las Vegas. Less jets then we had in Iraq, with jets that are not broke and less sorties to fly. But someone has a bug up their...nose. Anyway, I am now working 1800-0600 that really sucks for trying to sleep. Especially when housekeeping will want to come by at 0800. So right now you may be thinking "Boy Jake is whining a lot." If you are thinking that, you'd be right.

On Sunday it was nice to get out and go to church. I managed to hitch a ride with Bro. Oaks, son of Elder Oaks (from the seventy). He is a really good guy and it was nice to have a normal adult conversation. At any rate, I look forward to this week ending because that means I am one week closer to going home.

Week 1 in the Bag....Almost

The end of week one here at Nellis AFB is almost done. This last week has been pretty long and annoying. Not to go into to much detail but the supervision running the show here are working us pretty hard, and I use the term "Working" rather liberally. To put it in perspective, we are working longer hours here, with less jets, then when we were in Iraq. Not to mention the jets aren't even having as many problems as in Iraq. So there, I have officially vented.

On another topic, seeing all the jets here has been really cool. The F-22 is one mean looking aircraft. What gets frustrating for me is the little boy inside of me. Standing next to a jet as it launches makes me really jealous that I don't get to fly one. Last night a pilot taxied down the taxiway but had to come back due to his canopy not locking in. After trying to troubleshoot the jet they had to shut down the plane and cancel his flight. Well, I got to help trouble shoot the jet by sitting in the cockpit and lowering and raising the canopy. When the canopy was closed I had to try my hardest not to grab the stick and make machine gun noises. And I don't care who you are, any guy that sits in the cockpit would have been tempted to do the same.

Let the Games Begin!!!!

I thought I would rain on Jake's parade and cut in here for a second. As you can tell...this is Katie. Since Jake has left for Vegas our children have been "interesting". My two two-yearolds have been learning how to fight with one another. Bethany is really good with hitting; Heidi--not so much. Heidi knows that, so within the last couple of days, she has learned to pull Bethany's hair! Heidi has realized she can get a better reaction by pulling hair than hitting. This morning the girls were fighting. Heidi is by the Lazy Boy, crying. I look down to pick her up and a find a wad of Bethany's red hair in her hand! The other new trick the girls have been up to....they have been taking the dirty clothes out of the clothes hamper, putting the clothes on the floor, and using the hamper as some kind of coverage/fortress from the other sister! Bethany will have the hamper over her, shielding herself from Heidi. Heidi, ofcourse, doesn't like this, so she will have her body LIE on top of the hamper--beating on it to get Bethany's attention. As you can tell, with Daddy being gone they are finding very interesting ways to entertain one another.

Viva Las Vegas

After a really long day I have arrived here in Las Vegas. I must admit that this will be a really long month. I was doing fine until this morning when I was getting ready to leave we had a family prayer. I picked up both the girls to keep them from running away, and while saying the prayer those little stinkers had to be so freakin cute. Bethany was giving me really soft kisses on the cheek and when Heidi saw that she tried doing the same. I will miss them an awful lot but at least I know they are in excellent hands.
Other then that, I got into Vegas just fine. I think I saw the Grand Canyon, or at least parts of it, or at a minimum a big canyon. I tried taking a picture but it is kind of hard to see. I also got to see Hoover Dam while flying in, so I can take that off the list of things to do. Another thing that was cool was seeing all the different Fighter Jets here, to include F-15C, F-15E, F-16 (including the ThunderBirds), F-18 and F-22. A lot of the jets are also painted really weird colors (like a light blue F-15). They are painted different colors to simulate the aggressor Aircraft, or "bad guy" for you girls. I will attempt to update the blog frequently to kind of act as a journal while on this little shindig.

Man-Bear-Pig

With Earth Day behind us I got to thinking about just how awful we as human beings are. When people like Julia Roberts and Oprah Winfrey explain how much better the planet would be if we stopped eating everything that is not organic and how bad paper towels are, I got to thinking about another very real threat that faces us. The great planet crusader himself (Al Gore) did not talk about this threat when he was on Oprah, I am certain he was just waiting for the proper forum, the threat I mention is ManBearPig. Before you stop reading I am totally serial about MBP. Al Gore has made it very clear the MBP is a very real threat. In case you didn't know, MBP is half man, half bear and half pig. So for your safety here is an artist rendition of ManBearPig, drawn by Al Gore himself. In the event you confront MBP seek shelter immediately.

Nothing Really to Say

I know that I have not posted in a while so I wanted to get something out there. Nothing new has really happened, I am leaving this Saturday for Vegas so I have mixed emotions. I am going to miss my girls something fierce but it will be nice to not be in the shop for a month. Since I do not have anything else to say I will leave you with a bit of humor.

Happy Birthday Heidi!

For a period of a month I have two kids who are the same age, who are not twins. After having my two knuckleheads I could not imagine what my life would be without my girls. I have to admit that when Heidi was born I had somewhat of a rough time adjusting. Breaking my wrist just a few weeks after she was born did not help much either. Now, Heidi is the funniest little girl. She loves to eat and many times after dinner will put herself to bed. Bethany will sometimes beat up on Heidi but Heidi is now getting good at fighting back. At any rate, even though I know she can't read this I just want everyone to know that I love my little "Heidi-Bug". She can be such a little hoodlum sometimes, like when she is trying to mess with the laundry, but she is typically a great kid. Happy Birthday Heidi.

A Lot of People Go to School For 7 Years

Yeah their called Doctors. I was reflecting last night on my way home from work how far I have come since joining the Air Force. Since the sleeziel does not have a radio (or A/C, lights that work on the right side or a suspension system) reflecting is quite easy. Anyway, I couldn't help but remember when I came into the Air Force I only had 3 credit hours now I have over 93. After traveling down the longest tunnel, and everytime I thought there was a light I only discovered the light was an oncoming train. Finally, the light is the end of the tunnel.

What Goes on in the Head of a Two Year Old?

I told this story to Mom yesterday but I felt the need to get this story out there as a warning to all (with young children). So every so often Katie will buy a bag of Wheat Thins that have a vegetable flavor. My kids just go nuts over these things and will hunt the bag down and hide to eat them. Yesterday I grabbed the bag and had a few of the crackers and I noticed that the taste was a little off. After a second I pinpointed the cause of the odd flavor, Heidi had been taking a cracker, licking off the seasoning and putting the cracker back in the bag. I suppose Heidi just realized that the seasoning was better then the actual cracker and probably less fattening too.

The Previous Tenent had a Dirty Little Secret

For my typical readers you might find this post a little on the "Racy" side. If you consider the word "pornography" racy I urge you to turn away from this post and go to www.disney.com

Continuing on, I got home from work and Katie told me she had something funny to show. While in the process of putting stuff away, Katie was trying to put something on top of a little linen cabinet. The cabinet does not go all the way to the ceiling but is close. When she couldn't slide the item back (if you really must know the item was a box of Rid-X) she got a step stool to see what the problem was. Well, apparently the guy before us who lived here stashed his porno magazine atop the cabinet. At any rate, I just found it humorous that we found this nasty, dusty porno hidden. And don't worry Mom, the magazine has been burned (I love living in the country, where else can you burn porno mags and ant hills?)

Monkey See, Monkey Do...

is the story of my life (for now). I had the shop vac in the house to clean up some drywall that the girls had decided looked better on the floor then on the wall. Heidi found one of the long extensions and put the extension on her arm. She sort of looked liked Bruce Campbell from the movie Army of Darkness, except for a chainsaw it was part of the shop vac. At any rate, Heidi naturally got the tube stuck on her arm and came crying for help. Being the good parent I naturally ran straight for the camera to get a good picture and had Bethany help get the extension off her arm.
Bethany couldn't pass up such a fun opportunity and within seconds the extension was stuck on Bethany's arm. There is never a dull moment in my trailer.

Has it Been Five Days???

Where does the time go? I knew that I was due to write something I just had not realized that 5 days had passed. At any rate, the bottom line is nothing too exciting has occurred lately. Work has been boring as usual and I am counting down the days until I can get out of the Air Force. The Air Force has been good to us but I am ready to change directions. Here in just a couple of weeks I will be going to Vegas for almost a month and I know that will be a long trip. At least there is a gym on base, the gym is where I plan on spending most of my time.

The girls have been getting into trouble just like always. Katie gets so frustrated because Bethany will sneak into our room, throw the ALL the covers off the bed and start jumping on our bed. Perhaps the time for a trampoline is at hand. Then you have Heidi who will only take a short nap in the afternoon unless Katie is holding her. When we do have the girls take a nap at the same time Heidi always wakes up first and then wakes Bethany up. Bethany is often not ready to wake up then turns into a grouch for the next hour. So life continues on here in the Georgia Cannons household (or trailerhold, however you want to look at it).

Pleeease...Yes

Life in the Cannon house/trailer continues on. Heidi has been really funny lately and trying hard to talk. The other day our landlord came by to make some repairs. He ended up replacing the back sliding door and caulked up the frame to keep the rain out. Heidi decided that the caulk did not look very good on the door but rather the caulk should be in her hair. Thankfully I am married to a beautician and Katie was able to cut her hair without any drastic changes. Granted the hair is short, but Heidi is still a doll. The other thing Heidi will do (other then get into Katie's makeup) is say "Please...yes" when we ask her if she wants anything. Heidi is such a funny little thing.

Meanwhile, Bethany continues to find new ways to get into trouble. Bethany has been funny when I try to work out Bethany will grab a pair of 3lb dumbbells and try to lift them over her head. She's actually getting pretty good.

It's Official

Today I am officially a Non-Commissioned Officer. Yesterday was the promotion ceremony that I couldn't help but think was kinda goofy. I mean I was promoted yesterday but could not technically wear the rank till today. No big deal, just sort of odd. Other then that everything else went smooth, I just wanted to get the ceremony over with. I'll post pictures as soon as I get them.

Now I'm sure that everyone is curious as to what my new responsibilities will be as a "non-com". As a non-com I will.....ummmm.....and I must.....uhhhhh......I know, I will now answer the phone Sergeant Cannon. Since the section I am in is different then the rest of the shop at night I am my own boss. I may be a supervisor at some point but I am not overly worried. The thing I am most worried about is finishing my classes so that I can get out with my degree and just keep moving up the ladder.

Cops are Driving Me Nuts

I have never gotten a speeding ticket and up until now have been stopped by the cops twice in my lifetime (three times if you count getting stopped on a waverunner). Well about a month or two ago coming home from a pizza run I get pulled over. I panic because I have no idea why I'm getting pulled over. If I had been speeding at least I might have known what to worry about, but I never speed on these back roads. The cop says I was doing 70 in a 55 which is bogus because I honest to goodness never speed. Honestly. The cop doesn't even ask for insurance and registration, just my license. No warning, just tells me to go slower.

Then last night, after coming home from hanging out with some friends we get stopped at the same intersection as before with some giant checkpoint. In the middle of nowhere there are 8 cop cars and who knows how many cops checking license, insurance and registration. No big deal, just kind of weird.

Now tonight, coming home from visiting the exact same friends we get stopped again. At first I was wondering what the jerk was doing cause he was on me like a hemorroid (it was dark and I couldn't tell that it was a cop). So he gives me a warning because my tail light was out. My goodness, these cops must really be bored.

What is it with Devil Wasps?

I swear these things just won't leave me alone. Yesterday I was working on the Sleeziel when out of no where this devil wasp was right in my face. Yeah, hell yeah I screamed. I jumped out of the car so fast and flailed my arms like a little girl. Looking back I can imagined I looked something like Chris Farley in Tommy Boy (I think it was Tommy Boy) running around and yelling. The moral of this story is to kill wasps.

On another topic I just wanted to share a funny story about Heidi. The girls are always trying to be good helpers which you just can't get mad at. Well, today Bethany dropped a spoon on the floor nearby Heidi. I asked Heidi if she could put the spoon in the sink. Heidi, for whatever reason, didn't see the spoon (which was the ONLY thing on the floor). Instead, she ran to the silverware drawer and started flinging spoons into the sink. I can only imagine the thought the process of a two year old.

Honest Weeks Pay for an Honest Days Work

Is that too much to ask? I know I don't have much room to complain since I really have an easy job. I figure that being independently wealthy is an easier job however. Not to mention that whenever I get an idea on how to become wealthy Katie just shoots it down. For example, when I'm in Vegas next month I offered to bring our savings and hit the black jack table, how could this possibly fail? But nooooooo, I can't use our savings to go gamble. Another idea was marketing my new B.A.D.D. program. BADD stands for Baby Atenttion Deficit Disorder. Have you ever noticed that babies have difficulty paying attention? Well, my new program will offer books and music to combat BADD. I think I may have stumbled upon something. If anyone is willing to be a backer just let me know.
In the meantime I guess that I just have to keep going to school and look for a job in the real world.

Happy Easter!!

Well all I have to say is this was a nice Easter. We had some friends come over and we ended up frying a turkey. I know a turkey for Easter? We are not to fond of ham and we haven't really used our fryer all that much so we decided to bust it out. After our many Thanksgiving everyone went comatose while the kids played. The girls just played and played and finally after a bath both of them just passed out.
Overall we really enjoyed ourselves and the opportunity to reflect on our Savior. I know that the importance lies on the fact that he died for us AND now lives for us.

You Can Have it Your Way

Today we went to a friends daughters birthday party. Our friends did not feel like having to cook or clean up a big mess in their house so they had the party at a Burger King. I must admit that I never had thought to have a party there but it worked out pretty good. Essentially the kids were locked in the room and had a blast running up the slide. For about two hours the girls ran only stopping to grab a french fry. After the party we ran to Wal-Mart to get a few last minute items. Well, on the way home both girls just absolutly crashed. Bethany fell asleep with a tootsie roll in her mouth (don't worry she didn't choke) and was drooling all down her shirt while Heidi appeared to have fallen asleep while at a Bob Marley concert (she looked stoned). The girls didn't even budge when we laid them down. This really made for a nice quiet evening to get the house squared away and prepare for Easter dinner.

Almost the Weekend.....and Almost Moday

Years ago when I was working in St. Louis at a bank a co-worker made a comment that forever ruined looking forward to a weekend. On a Friday I made the obvious statement that the next day was Saturday, co-worker responded by pointing out that we were only two days away from Monday. As this weekend is nearing I am filled with anticipation and a slight sense of dread. I am excited about the fact of not having to shave or deal with people that drive me nuts but knowing that Monday is nearby and that I have to start all over next week just is not fun.
On a positive note I will be going to Las Vegas and while I'll be working at least I won't have to be in the shop for a month. I am now counting down by months how much longer till I get out of the Air Force (12 months until I start terminal leave).
So to change the subject and get the weekend started with a laugh, enjoy the following video.

And for the record this is not the Air Force.

Say Hello to the Sleeziel

So with only the Durango we knew that something had to change. Since the Durango is paid off I'm not about to get rid of it and get upside down in another loan. Not having a car payment is fantastic. So I have a friend is kindof crazy when it comes to VW's. We went to his house for New Years and me and another guy were looking at one of his cars and both of us were dropping hints about wanting to buy it. Well my friend gets funny when it comes to selling his cars so nothing really came of it. Until a few weeks ago I came across a classified online for his little car. Long story short for the amount of one durango payment I am the proud owner of the "Sleeziel". We call her the Sleeziel since it's pretty sleezy and a diesel. I know, not the most original.

So she may not be pretty or like starting in the cold but I'll be darn if it doesn't get 40 MPG. At $3.99 a gallon for diesel I can still completely gas up for $40. I can tell that most people are really impressed by the car because whenever I go anywhere everyone stops and stares. They point and whisper in hushed tones. Bottom line I'm having a great time with the sleeziel!

Trying to Teach My Kids the Old Fashion Way

Living in the south we are subject to many scary things. Scary things such as boiled peanuts, my neighbors and fire ants. Fire ants are especially prevalent around my house. Our backyard is completely fenced in and the girls just love going out there. However, the girls are not always fond of shoes. We try and try but Bethany always takes hers off while Heidi takes both shoes and socks off then puts just one shoe back on. With the winter ending the fire ants are starting to come back. Well at first I was absolutely paranoid about the girls being back there. But the girls are completely unafraid of the stupid ants. I thought that after getting bit (quite frequently I might add) they would develop a fear. Nope, I was wrong. Bethany has gone from merely kicking the ant hill to actually picking up pieces of dirt from the ant hill in her hand.

I guess we'll just have to keep working with the girls and hope there is nothing more sinister back there.

Does this make me like Doogie Howser?

So as I have been thinking about what to say in my next entry I couldn't help but be reminded of the old Doogie Howser show. At the end of each show Doogie would create a computer journal entry reflecting on the great life lesson learned in the previous 30 minutes. I suppose I am not like Doogie for two reasons, 1. I don't really have any life lessons other then to make sure you use Rid-x every month if you have a septic system and 2. I'm not gay (two kids to prove it).

Other then that not much else has been going on. Today I ran for a good 4 miles. I am getting ready to participate in the Army 10 miler this October. I know that if I don't start getting ready now that I will live up to the typical Air Force stigma. I must also admit that there is a little bit of a competitive side in me. I know that Jeff, Stu, Greg and Penny are working out really well and I don't want to be the out of shape one when we get together. I look for motivation wherever I can get it.

My First Post

After reading the many posts of my little sister I thought that I might take a stab at this "Blog" thing. Perhaps this will be an outlet for me to put my crazy random thoughts. I fear that since I am pretty boring who knows what this blog will turn into.

As far as today, I feel bad for my poor wife. This last week I have been working 12 hour shift (1900-0700) so my internal clock as been really off. Last night I finally fell asleep at 0300 but did not wake up in time for church. Katie grabbed the kids and the crockpot (for the potluck after church) and headed to our small branch. She came home just frazzled. I guess the kids were good for the most part. Katie said that after each hymn Bethany would clap and cheer. I guess the Stake President found her to be funny.